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Ten reasons you shouldn't date me Ten Reasons You Shouldn't Date Me.

#1. I'm past 35, never married, no kids. Surely there is something very wrong with me or I'd have settled for less than true love by now, or split a condom and had an accident. Guys on their third spouse/baby-momma clearly have their shit together at a higher level. I can understand the suspicion.

#2. I value happiness more than money. These days I'm pretty happy. Read what you want into that! Your friends/parents won't understand. I will privately them slaves and when/if I decide to chase money, will catch more of it than they do. That's gonna chap em even more.

#3. Despite being a pretty fit guy, I dislike gyms and can't relate to jocks. Liking fitness is different than liking ego pumps, but many people can't separate the two.

#4. Religion. Not really for me. I can't reconcile any organized religion's stance on evolution or science. Throw away the assorted rule books competing for our worship, and the concept of god is a good one. Then organized religion comes along and fucks it all up by putting walls between people just because they read different books. That is so screwed up.

#5. Gay peeps don't bother me one bit. This makes me less masculine apparently. Supposedly women are less hateful than men, but I'm here to say half of you ladies, especially the country girls, hate gay people fervently. I find that kind of intolerance streaks thru people's lives and just ain't my style.

#6. I am not zero maintenance. It seems many single ladies think it's OK to be high maintenance yet not contribute positive things to my life. Those are "the rules". The rules can be a lot of fun but when they run counter to basic friendship rules, I lose interest quickly. We all have different balance points but rest assured our relationship will be in balance. I am a giving person and will not date a taker. Even if you're hot. OK, if you're hot I'll give it a few dates. Then we're done. Just being honest.

#7. Speaking of....I am honest with one exception. When you've gained ten pounds and ask how those jeans make you look, I'm a complete liar. But otherwise, if you've ever known somebody who says what everyone else is thinking......maybe we've met. I am fearlessly honest. Probably circles back to resaon #1 :)

#8. Smiley emoticon dealies :) I'm a grown man and use them. I also say things are awesome. You will have to get over this

#9. Smartassity....... have it in spades. Sometimes it's self depreciating, other times boastful. Either way, I can back it up. To many, the only thing more irritating than a smartass, is a smartass who can back it up.

#10. Your mom will like me. Yes, it's true. Despite a laundry list of bad-boy habits I will charm her socks off. If you use boyfriends to get back at your folks, it just ain't gonna work out. Sorry, nothing I can do about it, this much charm is hard to keep bottled up.

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